You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
