her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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