Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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