i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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