I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
