garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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