So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
