My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
