i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
