So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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