Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do vagina's smell?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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