I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
