the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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