There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You ruined the universe
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
