Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
