so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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