just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
