what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I skipped work to stalk him.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
