Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
