Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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