she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
