Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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