and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
third nipple confirmed
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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