So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
