i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
