what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
