Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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