Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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