I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
