Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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