"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
