so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
