I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
