My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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