Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
God, I missed his penis.
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