Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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