she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
