I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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