absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
