You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I love you. Go after that dick
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
