If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
