We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
