she was so not down for the gang bang
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
