A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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