If i come over, it means nothing
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
