me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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