It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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