I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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