considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
