it wasn't lemon gatorade
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
