We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i believe in u and ur pee
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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